Donor Egg
Victoria Nino
Privacy vs. Secrecy: Navigating Egg Donation ...

The journey of conceiving a child via egg donation is a deeply personal process. We all enter this process with unique pieces of ourselves. Whether it be our family belief systems, personality types, religious backgrounds or cultural beliefs, no two people enter this process the same.

Privacy vs. Secrecy: Navigating Egg Donation and Who Needs to Know
Donor Egg
Victoria Nino
How To Choose An Egg Donor

Whether this is your first time considering egg donation or you’ve always known you would need an egg donor to build your family, choosing an egg donor is not an easy process. I’ve personally been through the egg donation selection process multiple times now, with multiple different agencies and egg banks. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you.

How To Choose An Egg Donor
Donor Egg
Victoria Nino
Donor Eggs: Fresh or Frozen?

This is such an overwhelming decision to have to make and there are so many different schools of thought on whether it’s better to use fresh or frozen donor eggs. It’s easy to feel confused on which direction to take. This is truly a personal decision and heavily based on your situation and the plans you have for your future family. I’m not a doctor or expert by any means, but I have definitely been faced with this decision multiple times in my life and feel the need to share my personal reflection.

Donor Eggs: Fresh or Frozen?
Donor Egg, Support Network
Victoria Nino
New Donor Conception Support Program is HERE!

This program series is very near and dear to my heart and I am very proud of the curriculum we have built. My goal is to help empower, educate and support people at all phases of the donor conception process. Whether you are going through donor conception for the first time, or on the other side of it as a parent of a donor conceived child. I’ve been having some very meaningful conversations with some Donor Conceived Adults that have helped me shape this program, two of which will be speaking in the series.

New Donor Conception Support Program is HERE!

It's Okay To Take a Break From Fertility Treatments.

It's Okay To Take a Break From Fertility Treatments.

We have avoided planning trips just in case I need to be local for a procedure.  My husband had to cancel a guys getaway because we needed him to be "on call" to unload the swimming soldiers. We've put other dreams on hold because our fertility treatments took all of our damn money.  We've missed important work meetings, special events, and just plain life. This process has had us by the balls. Literally. (sorry honey). We knew it is time to take a break from fertility treatments. And that's perfectly OKAY.

The Positive Lessons You Gain from Infertility.

The Positive Lessons You Gain from Infertility.

I used to think infertility made me less of a woman. I felt un-sexy. I felt inadequate. I felt like a failure. I would look at myself in the mirror and cry. And cry. And cry. I would look at my injection bruises and surgery scars and feel shame.  I was embarrassed.  I felt like I wasn't "enough". But, now I see someone different. I see a new version of me. I see someone with guts and tenacity. I see a woman who has survived tragedy and become stronger from it. I see someone who is more of a woman because of what I have overcome, and continue to overcome.



With infertility, everyday is a new battle. A battle against yourself. A battle to stay strong and positive, when all you want to do is cry. It's very easy to dwell on how unfair and hard it is. Sometimes we need to sit in the muck and be angry, sad and negative to cope. 

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Please Don't Forget us on Mother's Day.

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Please Don't Forget us on Mother's Day.

It's shitty for the woman that desperately wants to be a mother, but can't.  Or the single woman who wants to be a mom but feels like time is passing her by. Or the woman that lost her mother, and will be spending Mother's day at her grave site. And what about the mother that has lost a child, and will be grieving all day even if her living children are there to spend it with her?It's not all about f*cking flowers, brunches and breakfast in bed. 

How to Tell Your Infertile Friend you are Pregnant or Trying.

How to Tell Your Infertile Friend you are Pregnant or Trying.

It's hard to know what to say to the "infertile" sometimes. It's hard to know what will make us upset. It's hard to know what will make us comfortable. It's hard to know what will make us sad or make us cry. It's hard being our friend sometimes. I get it. We know how hard this is on you too. We appreciate all the things you do to protect us. We know you have our best intentions at heart. We notice your efforts to do the right thing by us. We know you care. We know that if/when you get pregnant, you dread telling us. We know that you are so incredibly excited, but the thought of telling us makes you sad.

How Old is TOO OLD to Have a Baby?

How Old is TOO OLD to Have a Baby?

The right age to have a baby is a personal decision for each person. Some 50 year old women are much healthier than some 30 year old women.  And typically with age, comes wisdom, success, stability, education, and a stronger identity. If a 40 year old woman is healthy, has her shit together and is ready to be a mom, let her be. If a woman finds her true love later in life and decides to take her time with a family, let her be. If a woman struggles for years to get pregnant and decides she needs a break, let her be.

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DNA Does Not Make You a Mother.

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DNA Does Not Make You a Mother.

I used to think that I would feel more like the child's "real mother" if we resembled each other. That a blue eyed baby with light hair would make me feel like a "normal" mom in some way. I thought it would be easier for the child to see me as his/her mother if we looked a like. Being a parent is about Love. Nurture. Support. Comfort. Understanding. Love. Love. And more Love. DNA does not make you a mother. Love does. 

The Holidays Can Suck When You Are Infertile.

The Holidays Can Suck When You Are Infertile.

If you are experiencing infertility, or a pregnancy loss, etc. you are probably dreading the holidays.  

You are mentally preparing for all of the potential "baby" scenarios. Like, that beautiful pregnant cousin of yours, all glowy and shit.  Why is she so damn perfect anyway? Great-grandma means well, but you know the "when are you having kids" question is coming. Bless her little heart. And the thought of all the little kids opening gifts and sharing special moments with their parents will having you running for the nearest bottle of vodka and box of tissues. 

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Egg Donor: Young Doesn't Necessarily Mean Fertile

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Egg Donor: Young Doesn't Necessarily Mean Fertile

When we started down the route of using an egg donor, everyone made it sound like it was a shoe in. I remember our doctor saying our chances of success were around 90%. When you select an egg donor, you are basically saying, okay, lets just get pregnant already.  You don't really consider that it won't work. It's, simple, you choose a young girl with a ton of healthy eggs, and then you get pregnant. It's a no brainer. Well, until you find out your Egg Donor is exactly like you. 

The Dreaded "When Are You Having Kids?" Question

The Dreaded "When Are You Having Kids?" Question

Whether you are dating, married, or over 30 and single, there is always some f*cking idiot who asks the question - "When are you going to have kids?" or "Are you guys trying?". We've all heard it. And we all HATE it!  My husband, Jonathan, and I have had years and years of practice with this question. So, I thought, Hell, why not share our favorite comebacks.

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The Cost of Infertility: Help me I'm Poor.

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The Cost of Infertility: Help me I'm Poor.

Most people have no idea how financially stressful the fertility process can be. But the money is just a part of the pain. Yea, it hurts. But that's the least of the hurt, honestly. We WERE finally on a path to success (or so we thought).  We had all the hope in the world! Our checkbook was poor but our hearts were full and rich with love! "It will all be worth it in the end" they say! And then my heart got ripped out of my f*cking chest. 

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Donor Egg Recipient: What's My Role?

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Donor Egg Recipient: What's My Role?

We learned that there aren't any clear cut laws around using egg donors. So, even though we have a signed legal agreement, the law doesn't clearly define me as the mother. Sigh. And, the law could change at any time and trump our signed agreement. Double Sigh. Luckily, there are proven court cases to reference, and in most instances the "intended" mother won in all of those cases.  Our attorney told us that since it is my "intent" to mother the child (not Meggan's) I would "likely" be considered the legal mother if she ever tried to take me to court to sue for parental rights. Isn't that f*cking awesome? But, at least, Jonathan is still the baby daddy, regardless. So, we have that. 

Mothers Come in Many Forms.

Mothers Come in Many Forms.

A mother is someone who gives hugs when we need them. It's someone who is patient and understanding even when we are wrong.  It's someone who does the best that they can to help us through hardships. It's someone who stands by us and helps ease our pain. It's someone who believes in us, and loves us unconditionally. It's someone who leads by example and encourages us.

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Egg Donation: A Donor's Perspective

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Egg Donation: A Donor's Perspective

I got the pleasure of meeting an egg donor. I was in complete admiration of her. Although, she didn't consider her act of donating eggs admirable at all. But, I couldn't disagree more.  

There are many things in life you get paid to do that take guts, courage and heart. Think about the people that do jobs you consider "admirable". They are getting paid, but they are still doing a job that not many people would do, right?  They are putting their lives at danger, but sure, they still receive a paycheck.(Note - egg donors certainly aren't rolling in the dough. In most cases, the agency actually collects more money than the donor does.) 

Lesbians Can Be Infertile Too.

Lesbians Can Be Infertile Too.

Gay people will ALWAYS need additional resources (a third person) to have a baby.  This is just something they expect to encounter.  It's part of their life. 

Just because this is a part of their life, it doesn't make it easy. I don't think people really recognize this.  I admit, I hadn't.They need support just like I do.  They need love and compassion just like I do.  They need a shoulder to cry on, just like I do.

Coping with Pregnancy Announcements

Coping with Pregnancy Announcements

In my talks with other women experiencing infertility, I've found that it's never easy when a loved one gets pregnant.  We all experience it.  It doesn't matter who the person is.  A family member, a friend, or a co-worker. It's ALWAYS hard.The feelings can be really dark and ugly. Don't feel bad about those feelings. We all get them. I promise!

But here's the deal...

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Donor Eggs And The Painful Process Of Choosing A Donor

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Donor Eggs And The Painful Process Of Choosing A Donor

I can't decide which was harder. Making the decision to use donor eggs.  Or selecting the actual egg donor herself. We were still struggling to find the perfect match.  So we decided to consult with our doctor for advice. To put it simply, she told us that when we find "the one" we would feel some sort of a connection.  She even went so far to say, "think about how you felt on your wedding day, this is just as important".  But how the hell are we supposed to do that without meeting the person?

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Deciding to Use Donor Eggs.

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Deciding to Use Donor Eggs.

I'm letting go of my broken eggs. I'm done. It's not going to be easy.  Lord I know that.  Life isn't supposed to be easy though, right?  I've been blessed in my life in so many ways. I know that.  Life has been good to me.  There are worse things that could happen to me, I always keep that in perspective.  We all have our things in life that kick us in the gut.  This is my "thing".  And I can handle it.

find me on Instagram @expectinganything

“I need this for my sister” she says to me as we were playing outside, referring to a special rock she found. . “Sister?” I asked, just to clarify. She looked me straight in the eyes and said it louder this time... “yes
I’ve spent most of my life saying “I’ll be happy when...”. When I finally get pregnant. When I lose the extra 15 pounds of hormone weight. When our business starts doing well again. When we are able to take fun vacations again
There is so much more to pass on to our children than genetics. . I am a strong woman because a strong woman raised me. Strong women aren’t just born that way, they are taught by watching the strong women in their lives work hard and stand up
I wasn’t just an oven baking someone else’s cookies. I was her home. . A therapist once told me to use the analogy of baking cookies in an oven when explaining to Flo how she came to be. This just never felt right for me. I was more than

all content copyright - Victoria Nino 2017