There are so many misconceptions out there around feeding your baby formula, and as a new mom it’s a really emotional topic to try to understand. Especially when you are in the think of it with a new infant at home. The hormones, the loneliness, the “oh-shit, someone really trusted me to keep this tiny human alive”, etc. I suffered from major PPA (postpartum anxiety) my first 3-4 months of motherhood, and looking back, I am pretty certain that the main cause stemmed mostly from my shortcomings with breastfeeding. I was so hard on myself for not being able to “stick with it” and felt shameful for turning to formula.

After struggling to conceive for so long, I had high hopes that my body would finally do what it was supposed to do after the baby was born. Everyone commented on how HUGE my breasts were and that I would have NO problems breast feeding. They would say things like “wow, your gonna have enough milk for all the babies in the state of California”.

SMH.

Big boobs do not guarantee successful breastfeeding.

Yes, my boob was bigger than my baby.

If you know my story, you know that I used donor eggs to conceive. I wanted to carry and birth my child. I wanted to bond with her and feed her from my breast. I put a lot of pressure on myself to exclusively breastfeed for as long as possible, because of this expectation I set. I felt like I owed that to myself. And to my baby.

How else were we going to bond?

I’ll never forget the day a friend texted me and said “how is breastfeeding HELL going?” and I thought, wow, how does she know? I hadn’t told anyone how much I was struggling because I was so ashamed. I thought people would judge me for wanting to quit. Especially after all I had been through to get pregnant, I’m sure people would look down on me for not taking full advantage of breastfeeding. It was such a gift to be able to experience it.

The shame I felt was of a different level and ultimately led to anxiety, and almost depression.

Had this friend not texted me, I’m not sure where I would be. She gave me permission to admit how hard it was. She validated my struggle.

I’m here today, to tell you that however you feed your baby, is good enough! Just feed your baby! There are plenty of guilt-free formulas out there, don’t you worry!

Here are the things I wish I knew sooner about feeding my baby.

You can still have a strong bond with your baby, even if you feed her by bottle.

While bottle feeding you can still hold your tiny baby close, breathe in the scent of one another, and look into each others eyes while she suckles on the bottle. Bonding can still happen, I promise. My one year old is obsessed with me.

Bottle feeding allows others to bond with baby too, and that’s important!

This was a big one for me. I realized that by allowing other people to feed her, they, too, could create bonds with her early on. This was great for her dad, her grandparents, and other family members. Ultimately, it was good for her! She was creating her own bonds with people that love her very much.

Big boobs can actually make breastfeeding harder (so can, flat or inverted nipples).

Yep. Big boobs do NOT make breastfeeding easier. For me, it was extremely challenging. I had to use two hands at all times. One to hold my boob like a juicy hamburger, so I didn’t smother her, and the other to hold the baby! I couldn’t just latch her on and have a hand free. So, forget about covering the tatas, that just wasn’t an option. If you were gonna be around me while my girl needed to eat, you were going to see the tig ole bitties be FREE! #freeyourtitties

Preeclampsia can effect your milk supply.

If you have preeclampsia, like I did, breastfeeding is still absolutely possible. However, some of the medications used to manage preeclampsia can contribute to low milk supply. I just wish I knew this before it happened to me so that I didn’t blame myself for my low supply.

Pumping sucks!

Pumping has got to be one of the most unenjoyable experiences ever created. It’s okay to hate pumping! DO YOU HEAR ME? I had to go sit in a room while my utters got yanked through a vacuum while making fart noises. Meanwhile my baby is in another room doing cute shit. It is extremely uncomfortable, especially when you have low milk supply like I did. It would sometimes take me 45 minutes of HELL to get 2-3 ounces. Which was not even enough for a full feeding for my hungry beast. I HATED pumping.

You don’t have to choose one or the other. Supplementing is always an option!

I wish I had known more about how to do this effectively. So many people told me that if I start supplementing that my supply would go down even more. Lactation consultants would wrinkle their nose at me… “Supplementing? Good luck!” These reactions are the reason I ended up quitting earlier than I probably would have. Supplementing is very possible, and a lot more mothers do it than you think! Your supply just works itself out.

Bottle prep and cleaning REALLY isn’t that bad

Honestly, cleaning my breast pump, and freezing, then de-thawing, and then warming breast milk was more work than bottle cleaning. We have a very efficient system in place. We use a bottle sterilizer we load up every night with dirty bottles and to make the formula we use the Baby Brezza Formula Pro, which is like the Keurig of formula making. When you have a crying, hungry baby it is HEAVEN to just push the button!

And, to keep the formula fresh, and for longer, we use the Powder Nest storage container. This thing is great

Giving your baby a bottle doesn’t mean she won’t want your breast anymore.

I had it in my head that we should avoid bottles because of nipple confusion. One day, early on, when I was taking a nap for the first time, my parents made the decision to give Flo the little bit of breast milk I had in the freezer in a bottle. I told them to wake me up when she was hungry, and NOT to let me sleep if she was hungry. But, they knew I needed to sleep, so they made the executive decision not to wake me up. I was so upset that no one asked me, but looking back, I actually needed someone else to make that decision for me. I needed a break, and finally had one. They were happy to tell me that she took the bottle like a champ! She came right back to the tit, no problem! She never had any confusion and would bounce back and forth pretty regularly. I really think this is a testament to introducing the bottle early.

Sleep training can be so much easier when you bottle feed!

It’s not impossible when you breastfeed, but it is harder. With formula, or bottle feeding you know exactly how much they are getting. My baby was sleeping 12 hours by 12 weeks old, and still does at a year old! Her naps are like clock work too. Sleep training has so much to do with the feedings. If your baby gets enough during the day, they won’t wake up hungry at night!

Formula doesn’t make your baby “less smart” or “less healthy”.

Child please. I can’t even with this one. I’m just gonna make one comment and drop the f*cking mic. You ready?

Bill Gates was formula fed.

Mic dropped.

You aren’t a bad mom if you feed your baby formula.

However, there will be times that you feel bad for feeding your baby formula. People will say really hurtful things without realizing, because of their own personal beliefs. Or, just being around other breastfeeding moms may make you feel like shit. I know I did. Just be prepared for these emotions, they will happen, but you will get through this! You are keeping your baby warm, safe and loved. You are feeding your baby, and that is enough! If you are happy, your baby is happy!

And remember, eventually they will eat old-ass McDonald’s french fries off the floor of the car.

You do you mama!

The Things I Wish I Knew About Feeding My Baby Sooner