The journey of conceiving a child via egg donation is a deeply personal process. We all enter this process with unique pieces of ourselves. Whether it be our family belief systems, personality types, religious backgrounds or cultural beliefs, no two people enter this process the same.
Whether this is your first time considering egg donation or you’ve always known you would need an egg donor to build your family, choosing an egg donor is not an easy process. I’ve personally been through the egg donation selection process multiple times now, with multiple different agencies and egg banks. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you.
This is such an overwhelming decision to have to make and there are so many different schools of thought on whether it’s better to use fresh or frozen donor eggs. It’s easy to feel confused on which direction to take. This is truly a personal decision and heavily based on your situation and the plans you have for your future family. I’m not a doctor or expert by any means, but I have definitely been faced with this decision multiple times in my life and feel the need to share my personal reflection.
This program series is very near and dear to my heart and I am very proud of the curriculum we have built. My goal is to help empower, educate and support people at all phases of the donor conception process. Whether you are going through donor conception for the first time, or on the other side of it as a parent of a donor conceived child. I’ve been having some very meaningful conversations with some Donor Conceived Adults that have helped me shape this program, two of which will be speaking in the series.
I can’t tell you how long I used to focus on the things I didn’t get to have by pursuing donor eggs to conceive. From the moment my doctor suggested we think about it, my mind was all-consumed every second of every day with all the things I was losing - a DNA connection with my babies, an easy route to pregnancy, an easy story to tell, time, energy, a shit ton of money, etc.
Whether this is your first time considering egg donation or you’ve always known you would need an egg donor to build your family, choosing an egg donor is not an easy process. I’ve personally been through the egg donation selection process multiple times now, with multiple different agencies and egg banks. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you. It can be exciting and equally overwhelming. I’m sharing some of the lessons I learned in hopes to make this process a bit easier for you.
I remember the exact moment I was first faced with the question, “should I use donor eggs?” After multiple attempts at stimulating my follicles with hormones, and only ever getting one or two eggs to mature, my doctor sat me and my husband down for a serious conversation. She suggested we consider using donor eggs. I knew this wasn’t a decision I could make on the spot and definitely didn’t want to make a decision I would later regret.
My journey to become a mother is never lost on me. There hasn’t been a day since becoming a mom that I don’t think about what it took to get here. I suppose that’s a silver lining - to feel perpetually humble and grateful for the excruciating pain and test of time I had to experience to achieve my title as mother.
This is such an overwhelming decision to have to make and there are so many different schools of thought on whether it’s better to use fresh or frozen donor eggs. It’s easy to feel confused on which direction to take. This is truly a personal decision and heavily based on your situation and the plans you have for your future family. I’m not a doctor or expert by any means, but I have definitely been faced with this decision multiple times in my life and feel the need to share my personal reflection.
This program series is very near and dear to my heart and I am very proud of the curriculum we have built. My goal is to help empower, educate and support people at all phases of the donor conception process. Whether you are going through donor conception for the first time, or on the other side of it as a parent of a donor conceived child. I’ve been having some very meaningful conversations with some Donor Conceived Adults that have helped me shape this program, two of which will be speaking in the series.
I decided to write a book about donor eggs! Fifty four pages of my heart and soul, dedicated to the one who inspired me to write it - my magical little girl, Florence, on her 2nd Birthday. It’s titled “Why I’m Glad my Eggs Didn’t Work” because that’s the best way to sum up my feelings about this journey. I’m grateful, I’m glad, I’m elated that my eggs didn’t work.
We learned that there aren't any clear cut laws around using egg donors. So, even though we have a signed legal agreement, the law doesn't clearly define me as the mother. Sigh. And, the law could change at any time and trump our signed agreement. Double Sigh. Luckily, there are proven court cases to reference, and in most instances the "intended" mother won in all of those cases. Our attorney told us that since it is my "intent" to mother the child (not Meggan's) I would "likely" be considered the legal mother if she ever tried to take me to court to sue for parental rights. Isn't that f*cking awesome? But, at least, Jonathan is still the baby daddy, regardless. So, we have that.
