If going the IVF route, you are likely faced with this dilemma- to test your embryos or not to test? Genetic Testing (otherwise known as PGS, preimplantation genetic screening), is when one or more cells is removed from an IVF embryo to test for chromosomal normalcy.The genetically normal embryos are kept for transfer, and the abnormal embryos are discarded.
Now that I'm pregnant, people are starting to treat me like any, normal, "fertile" pregnant woman. Most would think, this is what I want - to feel normal. I don't blame them, I can see why people would think this. They might think - she's finally pregnant and past all the grieving and hard stuff, so this is the time to shower her with excitement and baby talk. But, I'm so not.
I constantly ask myself... WHY did I spend all that time and money on IUI? Why did I do this to myself 5 fucking times!? Don't do what I did! Well, unless your insurance covers it, then, you do you! I can assure you, it will still take a HUGE toll on your emotional state. You really need to ask yourself if it's worth it.
I got the pleasure of meeting an egg donor. I was in complete admiration of her. Although, she didn't consider her act of donating eggs admirable at all. But, I couldn't disagree more.
There are many things in life you get paid to do that take guts, courage and heart. Think about the people that do jobs you consider "admirable". They are getting paid, but they are still doing a job that not many people would do, right? They are putting their lives at danger, but sure, they still receive a paycheck.(Note - egg donors certainly aren't rolling in the dough. In most cases, the agency actually collects more money than the donor does.)
I can't decide which was harder. Making the decision to use donor eggs. Or selecting the actual egg donor herself. We were still struggling to find the perfect match. So we decided to consult with our doctor for advice. To put it simply, she told us that when we find "the one" we would feel some sort of a connection. She even went so far to say, "think about how you felt on your wedding day, this is just as important". But how the hell are we supposed to do that without meeting the person?
I'm letting go of my broken eggs. I'm done. It's not going to be easy. Lord I know that. Life isn't supposed to be easy though, right? I've been blessed in my life in so many ways. I know that. Life has been good to me. There are worse things that could happen to me, I always keep that in perspective. We all have our things in life that kick us in the gut. This is my "thing". And I can handle it.